Just finished one of the two papers! I expect to complete the other tomorrow and be off to Alberta for the holidays comps-free!
Today was better than yesterday. Yesterday I spent over 8 hours simply entering references into my reference management software. Every time I went to enter a reference into the paper, the program told me that the reference was not yet in the database and every time I responded, out loud, with "AW COME ON!! WHAT THE FUCK HAVE I BEEN DOING ALL WEEK???", followed by a frustrated 'roar'. Those who are aware of reference management programs know that there are two ways to enter references into it's database: 1) via direct export from a search engine (nice and convenient), or 2) manually. If I have a bunch of references that haven't been directly imported from the library database for whatever reason, I usually pop in an old fave movie or show, like Anne of Green Gables or Battlestar Galactica, and sit and mindlessly enter them in manually. In my head I had previously done this for hours for this paper's references. Apparently, in reality, I had not. So I spent the day manually entering probably over a 100 references and growing increasingly frustrated and angry, temperature rising, heat emanating from my chest outwards, so much so that I had to take off my snuggie.... a pleasant state to spend the day in, of course.
Ultimately, what was really going on was, not only Day 4 of my hangover recovery cycle, but also that, in my head, I was wanting to be somewhere else. There is no certainty as to where that someplace else is but I was not happy right where I was. Perhaps I'm excited to get home for xmas, perhaps I'm sick of writing, perhaps I'm disgusted with the clutter I've produced while working at home this week... I want I want I want. It is that rejection of the present, that it is not okay right where I am, that made my blood boil yesterday whilst sitting home alone entering references. White people problems...
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